Measuring Up

These days I have this overwhelming, sinking sensation that my parenting skills just aren't quite measuring up. No big reason for this, it's just the basic drowning in my own overblown expectations ... I think (I hope).

Going through pictures from the past week made me feel a little bit better. I realized that each child had a special time with Mom, Dad, or a special occasion all their own.

I took Abby to see Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows at Midnight with her friend, Alex

Noah celebrated his birthday with his five Besties at Adventure Landing

Lily went to the mall with Dad & Mom and got to ride the Carousel

We are so hard on ourselves. I'm sure it doesn't help when others are quick to point out our faults, either! Maybe my message is to be a little kinder, a little gentler - whether with ourselves or others. Try to understand where another person is coming from when we're angry with them. When a confrontation does arise, set personal assaults aside. Instead, attempt to talk with the person about the real issues instead of throwing insults.

I've heard lately that I'm over-confident, arrogant, a know-it-all, confrontational, and too blunt. Wow! Those words are super painful. I don't feel like a very loved person hearing comments like that. I don't feel like a very good person at all. Looking inside myself, I've chosen to ponder these comments with a sincere heart. I'm deeply hurt, but maybe there is some truth there. I'm only a person after all, which means I'm riddled with faults.

What I've decided is this: when a person is hurting, they can lash out. I do it. Others do it. It's our human nature. It's really mean and icky, but so are lots of other things in life. I have decided to take these words to heart. Listen more, talk less. Will my relationship with this person ever be okay again? I don't know. What have I learned for the future? To stay on point. Discuss my authentic emotions with someone when the time is appropriate. Most of all, not to say anything to damage a person's self-image.

I've been told my mother used to say something when she was dissatisfied with one of us kids. She would say, "I love you, but I don't like you very much right now." I like that. It's honest.