I'll See Ya When I See Ya!

My sister, Terry, passed away Wednesday night. I saw her just a few weeks ago for the last time. When I left her, I found that I didn't know how to say goodbye. I always say to no matter whom I'm leaving, "See ya later!", but I couldn't say that ... when was "later"? What I did was take her by the hand, look her right in the eye and say, "Hey Sister, I'll see ya when I see ya!" Yes, it was a little odd at the time, but it seemed fitting. Tonight, as I sit in shock and relief (yes, relief - she's not sick anymore - she feels good. She's with God) I'm left thinking about those words.

My relationship with Terry was always one of contradiction. She was not an easy person. She did not choose anything easy in life. This caused so much contention on so many different levels. Because of this, I've always felt conflicted in my relationship with her. When I read the book by Norman Maclean, A River Runs Through It, it finally hit me that I wasn't alone. I cried and cried throughout the book because I understood his conflicting feelings. The following is my favorite quote from the book. I have to end with that because - quite frankly - I'm exhausted.

"Eventually, all things merge into one and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by the waters."